I had no idea really, was drinking beer all week, I’m on holidays… so this’ll be short… maybe curly too!

John Bailey is first with an epic tale of wedding bliss (kinda) gone wrong. Let me sum it up: Groom leaves own wedding reception to pick up welfare check, bride sets fire to groom’s bed, bride sleeps with another man, then man and wife beat the other man to death with an oar and a glass. I told him not to marry her.

From Mary T., a link to a story about a website, namely “collegehumor.com” and how they almost got nebraska to ahve the most boring license plates ever.

From Oliver King, a link to a story about Bruce Manley, who is apparently a bank employee / trick shot artist and apparently the “Annie Oakley” of basketball. See him here shooting, and here passing. Freaky…

From Diane K., a link to a website that details the complete and utter useless crap on Craig’s list.

because the world needs it… a link to the first ever USB-powered microwave oven… in case you’d need to nuke something smaller than a pizza pop… in the shitter… or whereever you couldn’t get off your ass and use a real microwave. Thanks to Terry W.

I used to work in a traffic department, so when i saw this next link I first peed my pants laughing, then thot “oh, man… why didn’t I think of that?”… from Perry U., it’s “Pylon-o-Con“… screw you Transformers…

And finally, hell it’s Friday and I’m on holidays AND I forgot…, it’s a link to an interesting essay about “Default”… here’s an excerpt:

“One of the greatest unappreciated inventions of modern life is the default. “Default” is a technical  concept first used in computer science in the 1960s to indicate a preset standard. Default, for instance, as in: the default of this program assumes that dates are given in two digit years not four. Today the notion of a default has spread beyond computer science to the culture at large.  It seems such a small thing, but the idea of the default is fundamental to the technium…”

Later kiddies!

—–

Is it OK if I speak to you today
You’ve been pissed off for a week now
but, nothing I can say could make you look up.
or crack up. Is there anything that I can do
Anything to show you

-Bowling for Soup -  The Bitch Song

—–

Freak extraordinaire Michael Jackson dies of… well who cares, and we can’t seem to get enuff coverage of that crap, but Billy Mays dies and like, it’s not on Entertainment Tonight? Christ! That’s like Sham-Wow “Vince” dying and no one caring… he’s a TV hero fer frick sake… who’s gonna push OxiClean now?

Wait… maybe “Vince” wanted another product to hock…

I enjoy having my mind blown. No, I’m not talking about sex, drugs, or rock ‘n roll. I’m talking about ideas and situations and circumstances like the one that has just come to my knowledge.

As you may have just heard on the news, some of ex-president Richard Nixon’s previously unreleased presidential correspondence was now made public. While there were no smoking guns (that hadn’t already been shot off during his impeachment), it did bring to mind something I just recently discovered. I will come to that soon. But first, a quick history lesson.

You may already know that Nixon was “a crook” and was nearly impeached. When you hear his name you link him to words like “Watergate” and “The Tapes”. Yes, Nixon hired people to break into offices at the Watergate Hotel to steal documents and hide listening devices. Yes, Nixon tape recorded himself in his very own office in the White House while discussing some of those very crimes. What you may not know, is that Nixon was obsessed with obtaining every bit of personal information about anyone he desired. He even went so far as to try to order the FBI and CIA to help him commit these crimes. He was revealed to be the quintessential poster child for “Big Brother” government.

Now, what I just found out the other day, was that in 1979, Micheal Medved (yes, the film critic) wrote a book called “Shadow Presidents”. In it, he revealed that Nixon and his top aide H. R. Haldeman had an ambitious plan to connect the world via “coaxial cable”. Nixon wanted his legacy to be the linking of all the homes in America to an “information highway” much like Past President Eisenhower’s fulfilled dream of using actual highways to connect America’s cities. Direct Haldeman quote: “There would be two-way communication. Through computer, you could use your television set to order up whatever you wanted.”

Wow! Talk about being ahead of your time!

Medved was amazed that Nixon could ever have even thought that he would get away with such an idea. Medved’s reason for disparaging Nixon’s plan was based on the principal that such an invasive technology would be tantamount to an extreme “Big Brother” government availing itself to every bit of personal data of everyone in America. No citizenry would ever tolerate such a huge intrusion!

Given what we now know about Nixon’s desire for information, this, my friends, is irony. Nixon had inadvertently stumbled on the greatest eavesdropping device of all time and didn’t realize it!

Please humour me for a minute. Now imagine it’s 1979. Take the perspective of the ordinary citizens reading Medved’s book for the very first time. Imagine the shock that they would have felt. They would have been outraged. I’m sure at the time; they all would have agreed with Medved that such a thing would never happen! Could never happen! And yet…

Fast forward 30 years. The internet is here to stay and the government is collecting our data without the least bit of resistance from us. My, my, what a docile flock of sheep we are if you feed us “You-tube” and “Facebook”. Turns out, Medved had no idea he would eventually be proven alarmist, and Nixon, omniscient. Funny thing, that the passing of time can turn a wrong into a right. No wonder I feel like someone is looking over my shoulder.

When I told my dad that the King of Pop had died, he said, “The guy who invented Coke is dead?” I love my dad.

We’re light in the loafers today, but I ain’t too concerned… I’m starting holidays this weekend!

From Claire Forbin, who’s email subject “Random Killings just got greener…” caught my eye. It’s a link to a drive by shooting… but by geeks I guess. Different.

From Erna Ganter, a link to the British police service, who unveiled their latest weapon in the fight against crime. Presumably the idea is that the criminals will be too busy laughing to run away properly. I call it “Robo-Twat“.

Gary Revell gets up every morning before sunrise, heads into the woods and grunts for worms. Wait, what? Thanks to Bernie P.

Heide Vends sends us a note about Sesame Street and how it’s literally changed the world. Suck it, Spongebob.

From Wilfred Tyls, a link to a place I cannot believe does not exist: Boozetown. Screw going to mexico every year…

From Dylon Johnston, who says “It’s about f-ing time”. A Blog apologizes for hyping ’skinny jeans’ as it turns out they’re a health hazard: in addition to giving wearers wicked camel toes and muffin tops, they make legs go numb and may cause nerve damage. Man, what;’s funny is follow the ‘Muffin Top Disease” link… I see so much of that aorund town… girls… live with it… that ain’t attractive…

A strange yet compelling slideshow of the contents of other people’s refrigerators. Submitter would like to know why a short order cook in Marathon TX has a rattle snake in her freezer tho… thanks to Freida Wols.

From Ed Sens, a link to what the world truly needed: a website about mullets.

And finally, because like I said, we’re light: a link from me to “passive agressive sticky notes“. The ones you leave behind when you’re roommates & co-workers leave a mess… I love the “soyf*ckers annonymous” note…

=====

Deep in your eyes I can see that you are lonely
Come take my heart and say you’ll be my one and only
We’ve been dreamin’ of makin’ love out in the moonlight
Just holdin’ hands, bein’ friends, fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove
Fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove, fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove, fallin’ in love

Fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove, fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove
Fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove, fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove
Fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove, fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove
Fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove, fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove
Fallin’ in lo-o-o-ove

-Rocky Burnette - Fallin’ In Love