For those of you who have not seen it yet, Open Water is the story of how in 1998, Tom and Eileen Lonergan disappeared off the Great Barrier Reef after a diving company accidentally left them behind in shark-infested waters. This is the only fact which is true and the rest of the movie, the part that deals with the time they spent while awaiting a rescue which never came, is pure conjecture and not worthy of anyone’s time.

The movie was shot on handheld digital cameras with a shoestring budget and the bulk of our time is spent watching the couple bob up and down in the ocean, bickering about ordinary things every couple fight about, “you hate my mother”; “I never get to watch football”; “do I look fat?” all the while being nibbled to death by sharks. In reality there were other avenues of speculation open to the producers, a supposed suicide pact has been speculated as well as a murder plot by either Tom and/or the operator of the diving charter but the studios decided you’d be better entertained listening to mundane arguments we all hear everyday.

I know this movie was a surprise hit at the Sundance Film festival and met with rave reviews across the American movie press and while I mean no disrespect to Tom and Eileen Lonergan or their respective familys, you’d be more entertained if you simply strolled through the favorites section and grabbed any of the Jaws movies (and that’s saying something).

My motivation for writing this review now, even though Open Water has been out in distribution for several years now is that just the other day I happened to noticed that there is a new Open Water 2 movie which has gone straight to DVD.  I could not bring myself to pick it up and read the back of the case but rather felt enraged once again at the seemingly shameless lengths movie producers will go to make a buck.

I’m assuming the movie is a new story of yet another poor and hapless couple who were also stranded in open waters and who met their untimely end either in the sea or in the jaws of any numerous species of shark. I do find myself hoping that perhaps instead it is a continuation of Tom and Eileen’s story and that perhaps the ending of the first movie was altered like cliffhangers of old. Just before they die, they are suddenly beamed on board Captain Kirk’s captured bird of prey from Star Trek IV, scooped up with the whales Kirk and the gang had come back in time to acquire, only to pass away yet again upon arrival in the 24th century when Kirk chooses to free the trapped whales instead of them as the Klingon ship sinks into the San Francisco bay. What a story.

Yes, I know it sounds stupid, but stupidity has never stopped movie producers in the past. I particularly hate when the stupidity is compounded by movies which are made about stupid people. I recall years ago about how a TV movie of the week celebrated one man’s courage to save his family when their car became snowbound on a country road during a blizzard. He lost several toes and or fingers walking for help only after burying his wife and infant son in a makeshift rabbit hole and leaving them nothing more than toothpaste to eat. This guy was warned by state troopers NOT to travel on that road exactly for this very reason but he chose to ignore it, to put his family in jeopardy and probably even joked about how Hollywood will make a movie out of their adventure if they were to get lost or stuck.

Now again, I state that I mean no disrespect to Tom and Eileen Lonergan nor do I wish to imply that THEY were stupid. From everything I have read concerning this story, it was a horrible accident and unfortunately just one of those things that can happen. While I still wouldn’t recommend Open Water to anyone as an entertaining movie, I can live with the fact that it was made even at all, but to begin spawning sequels like Open Water 2 which feed off of unfortunate incidents so someone in Hollywood can make a buck is unscrupulous and this trend will only continue if we keep watching them.

So stop it and let everyone rest in peace, please.