I hate movies about stupid people. Wolf Creek is a movie about three stupid people. I hated Wolf Creek more than three times the amount I would normally hate a movie about stupid people.

Wolf Creek, as many horror movies have done in the past, begins by informing us that it is a movie based on actual events. Since the days of the Amityville Horror, we have learned to take this with a grain of salt. Wolf Creek is very loosely based on a true story of the real-life serial killer Ivan Milat, who was convicted of killing seven backpackers and dumping their bodies in the Belangalo Forest, Australia. One of his intended victims, a young British guy, managed to escape and was instrumental in identifying the killer. The filmmakers have used a lot of key points from this case for the movie, for example the physical description of Ivan Milat, the fact that he used a hunting knife and was a gun fanatic. Also he sliced through the spinal cord of most of his victims, paralyzing them before stabbing, shooting, beating and or sexually assaulting them. The personal belongings of his victims were eventually found in a police raid on his home, sleeping bags, tents, backpacks, etc.

The dialogue in Wolf Creek barely breaks three syllables until you make it about 55 minutes into this 99 minute so-called thriller/horror. If you manage to make it this far in without turning it off because you thought you were watching someone's home movie of their most boring vacation; the story actually begins once you make it through the belching and farting contest. In a nutshell, imagine Crocodile Dundee put on 200 pounds, hadn't bathed for a month, his chipper demeanor was replaced with a ridiculously over the top psychotic streak and he's the only person who'll stop to help you while you're stranded out in the middle of nowhere.

Thus is the plot of Wolf Creek.

The remainder of the movie focuses on the attempted escape of the three main characters from the clutches of this mad man who has driven the youths to an abandoned mining facility where he intends to kill them only after making them suffer both physically and mentally first.

The stupidity begins when one of the girls, in an attempt to kill their captor, manages to only immobilize him. “Drat,” I imagined her saying “that was the only bullet in the gun, I guess I should just grab his truck keys and split before he wakes up.” Paying no attention at all to the power saw, knives and various other weapons laying around the shed. Any of which would have sufficed in completing the job she had started and mercifully ending this movie sooner. Hell, even if she didn't use any of those items, she could have grabbed a rock from outside and smashed his head in.

But no, this movie would have us believe that women can't think straight in dire situations and are only capable of making one fine blunder after another while trying to concoct a rescue and escape plan. I personally can attest to knowing over a dozen women who not only would have gladly handed this killer his comupence but would have done so in a way more gruelling than I could ever have dreamed. I won't even begin to try to understand why the distraught females, upon reaching the edge of a cliff while being pursued by the killer, thought it best to push their escape truck off said cliff thereby destroying their only means of transportation when they could have continued to drive in one of three other directions.

As the movie played out and the stupidity of the youths in question began to swell, I found myself rooting for the madman, hoping that he would end the suffering not only for his captives but me as well.